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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 09:06 PM
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Cigaro
Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: BRGLSSEKJGRRA NOM NOM NOM
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| Another amazing chapter dude. |
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Peanut, I <3 you!
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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 10:16 PM
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ddevil
Joined: Dec 08, 2007
Posts: 1245
Location: On a Rainy Day
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Ditto.
Mamma mia.  |
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Thanx Elyyyyy!
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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 10:20 PM
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Premium Member
Joined: Jul 06, 2008
Posts: 389
Location: On a thin line between reality and insanity
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 More, more, more!  |
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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 11:46 PM
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ddevil
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 1214
Location: under your daughters bed
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| 2 more chapters 2 go...I will spend 10 minutes on the final 2 instead of 5...I really want them to be special |
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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 11:55 PM
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Cigaro
Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: BRGLSSEKJGRRA NOM NOM NOM
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Kick Ass. 
Gooodd, I can't wait to read the final chapters.
Your writing is so amazing dude.
Really, it is. |
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Peanut, I <3 you!
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Posted: Oct 06, 2008 - 11:55 PM
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Premium Member
Joined: Jul 06, 2008
Posts: 389
Location: On a thin line between reality and insanity
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^^I'm sure they will. As I said before: you are an exceptional writer. |
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Posted: Oct 07, 2008 - 12:13 AM
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ddevil
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 1214
Location: under your daughters bed
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Instead, I did 5 mins..but I WILL do 20 for the final chapter...
This one is really special to me
everything is now out in the open folks.
The Thing: Chapter 9 - Faded candles of yesteryear
Lisa back inside of her room, could not seem to shake the pain she felt in the pit of her stomach. This thing could have been coming here for years, and because of her everybody wanted it dead. Maybe if she had not said anything, the creature of west lake could have continued living it's life without disturbance until time ran it's course and it could die respectfully instead of by being hunted by an angry mob of parents.
Suddenly a knock is heard at Lisa's door that caused her to situate herself up in bed and wipe the tears away from her eyes. Whoever it was, she did not want them to see her crying.
Suddenly her bedroom door opened, and her parents entered it with fake smiles painted on their faces, their eyes already shrink wrapped with tears and seemingly faded papers in her fathers hand Lisa couldn't help but become curious at once.
"What is going on?"
"Lisa, there are things you don't understand...About life..About anything"
"I don't understand"
"I know you don't...You have to listen to me"
Lisa's cell phone suddenly begins to ring and she holds her hand to her father to silence him as she answers it.
"Hello?"
"Lisa, we're trying to talk to you"
"Hold on dad...She said what? - you're kidding - oh my god"
"Lisa"
"But why would she say that?"
"Lisa"
"I DID NOT SAY THAT ABOUT HIM"
"LISA!"
"Well then she is lying"
"Lisa, you're adopted..."
Lisa had not prepared for the words her father was speaking to her. She was what? 18 years and she's only now finding out the mother and father she grew to love weren't actually her mother and father? Lisa did not want to stay and hear her parents voices anymore. Without another word, she rushed out of the house and fleed into the woods to be alone. She did not know where she was going to go, but wherever it was she knew she'd know once she arrived.
Suddenly she came to a stop, her heart pounding in her chest and her tears running rapidly down her voice there he was. The creature of west lake was sitting at the bank of the water staring at himself smiling and was not moving as she inched closer and closer.
The creature turned to her but did not run, in fact he looked back to the water and continued to smile. As she came closer to him she finally understood why he came here. Why this person wanted to be next to the waters of westlake more than anywhere else in the world.
Inside the water, the ripples made his face look as normal as it possibly could. His smile on his face made him look like a normal boy, who only wanted acceptance and to not be treated like the out cast that he was being made out to be.
Growing up begging for love, begging to be treated like a son should be treated by his parents. But he never received such a luxury in his short life.
The voices of his parents echoed inside of his head.
"YOU ARE A FREAK"
"I AM SO ASHAMED OF YOU"
The only attention he recieved from his parents was to be treated like the freak he felt like. So as he stared at his own reflection, looking half way normal for the first time in his life he felt like he was a person like everybody else and not the creature of west lake.
As she stared at his reflection in the water, and her own only inches away from his, she realized that they looked alike. The features on his face, were so close to her own that she didn't even realize he was physically deformed at all.
She looked to the ground to allow her tears to roll past her cheeks and fall to the soil below, and that's when she saw it.
Drawn into the ground was a cake, with the number 18 on it.
It was the creatures 18th birthday....
on the same day as her own. |
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Posted: Oct 07, 2008 - 12:17 AM
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Cigaro
Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: BRGLSSEKJGRRA NOM NOM NOM
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Amazing.
That is all.
You are officially my favorite writer.  |
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Peanut, I <3 you!
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Posted: Oct 07, 2008 - 01:06 AM
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ddevil
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 1214
Location: under your daughters bed
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The Thing: Chapter 10 - The End
Lisa was stunned, suddenly everything began to make sense as a whirlwind of emotions were running through her mind. The poorly drawn cake explained more to Lisa than anything she had learned in her 18 years of living.
Lisa, still in a daze did not even register that there were voices creeping closer to where they stood.
She simply stood there like a deer in the headlights staring at the cake written into the dirt as she wondered what he'd used to draw it with.
Before the bullet struck Lisa in the side of her neck, she found herself thinking about the night she saw the creature for the first time.
How their eyes met, and she felt so close to the creature she didn't know. Now, it felt as if she finally knew who he was for the first time.
And he was being taken away once again.
Lisa hit the ground as the force of the bullet sent her to her back. Her eyes were staring into the formation of stars, as she smiled for the first time in 2 days. She felt so peaceful, as if there were no more problems to worry about.
---
Dear reader: At this point I request you click this link and listen to this song as you continue the rest of this story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jduFDgIr598
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Lisa, breathing in her last bit of air smiled and closed her eyes before the blood began to surface from her mouth. It seems to sad to die, after understanding who you are for the first time in your life but sometimes life can be so unfair that you don't really get things the way you truly wish them to be.
The creature takes to a run through the water, but it's far too deep for him to simply run across. As he slowly begins to sink within the confines of the water he splashes for help that is not coming.
The attention was focused on Lisa, as everybody stood before her body in complete shock and horror. The town, full of tears and so much suppressed emotion could not grasp what move they should make next.
Lisa, so peaceful.
So beautiful
With her eyes closed, her adopting parents stared at her with no emotion left to surrender. Still, everybody ignored the splashing of the creature who was trying as hard as he could to find something to help him out of the water so he could somehow live to see one more day, if only the one.
Finally the splashing stopped, and the body of the creature fell to the bottom of the lake where he remained forever.The creature died where he felt the happiest, the lake..Perhaps he died at a point where he felt normal for once..Or perhaps he died, feeling more alone than he could have possibly ever known.
Still, nobody knew what to say about what happened.
The day of Lisa's funeral, was set on the day her party was scheduled. Hundreds of people stood in the rain, umbrellas open as her casket lowered into the earth where she too would become one with the earth much like her twin brother.
If there was a heaven, I'd like to believe they were finally with each other and he looked as normal as he did inside his reflection.
There are a lot of things I would like to believe.
I would like to believe that the Bakers were arrested for the way they treated the son they wished they never had.
I would like to believe that Lisa's father had not killed himself only weeks after the loss of his baby.
I would like to believe that westlake became more to the little town than the new setting for the ghost stories about how Lisa Turner haunted the woods searching for her killer.
The Bakers, however evil they were lost 2 children that day.
Sure, they mistreated one, and that should not be forgotten..But for the sake of another they sent it to live with another family so it might have a chance at living a normal life.
Instead, the hate of man allowed Lisa to die in front of her brother who would join her only minutes later.
------
Dear reader: Assuming the previous song is over I'd like for you to click this one to close out the story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfBw0IWwO5U
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Yes, life was exactly what it was...Life, and even if a few people die in the process we have to stick together and wonder what exactly we are here for..
Why are we killing one another?
In a way, aren't we all connected anyways?
Shouldn't we all be family?
Why is it, we only care about one another when the words RIP are written in front of each others name?
Our life has become nothing more than words on a tombstone.
Still, westlake would remain the talk of the town..The place Lisa's previous boyfriend took his new girlfriend on those late night strolls during the summer.
The place, where life in the small town of waterbrook would never be the same, yet never reflected upon in a positive manor again.
It only took a few weeks of speculation before the rumors of the creature finally died much like the real person who lost his life.
Daniel Baker was his name.
And he died with his sister on their 18th birthday.
The creature of west lake was never spotted again. |
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Posted: Oct 07, 2008 - 01:11 AM
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Cigaro
Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: BRGLSSEKJGRRA NOM NOM NOM
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Thats so sad.
Such a sad, sad ending..
Really, it is.
And the music really added emphasis. |
_________________
Peanut, I <3 you!
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I have just some type of a voice.
But we all have a voice; we each have different listeners
-- Serj Tankian
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