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Posted: Feb 03, 2004 - 05:31 AM
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Hypnotized
Joined: Nov 18, 2003
Posts: 7385
Location: SOAD LAND!!
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| ever think about doing it? know someone who did it? its sad topic but maybe for those of you who feel suicidal can rant and we can help or something. I remember feeling suicidal a lot, sometimes still i do...but if you ever need a friend who understands i'm always here because i do know what its like. we're all family |
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fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck= gay fuck. Get it?!?!?!!?
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Posted: Feb 03, 2004 - 04:56 PM
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Peephole
Joined: Nov 22, 2003
Posts: 1545
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| I was gonna do it. Kim you remember, I stopped because of you and Jenn. |
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Master-pimp McB-wich
Get this dirty tripe out of my gril
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Posted: Feb 03, 2004 - 06:21 PM
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ddevil
Joined: Nov 12, 2003
Posts: 1381
Location: NL
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| I am suicidal, always been that way and always will be. There have been things going wrong in my life that had such an impact on me. I think I suffer from manic depression which means that I can feel happy for a while but can also feel like crap and disgusted for a long time. Lately I have been feeling so donw that with a look at an ordinairy object I started fantasizing about how I could kill myslef with it. I know I'm being very selfish here and I don't mean to hurt anyone in here because you all mean the world to me, but I don't think this will ever change......It's been in me ever since I was born.... |
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need I say more?
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Posted: Feb 03, 2004 - 08:41 PM
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Spider
Joined: Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 545
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†Repent† wrote:
I was gonna do it. Kim you remember, I stopped because of you and Jenn.
Of course I remember that. How could I forget, it was terrible. The thought of losing you makes my stomach hurt.
Suicide is terrible, and depressing to talk about. I recently did a project in school about it. It was kinda wierd, having expearenced the pain of desireing no to live, not to wake up again... also expearenceing someone so close to you in such agony that they don't want to exsiste anymore.
I found it interesting that more man commit suicide than girls, even though girls attempt suicide more often. |
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 12:24 AM
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Hypnotized
Joined: Nov 18, 2003
Posts: 7385
Location: SOAD LAND!!
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devilchick wrote:
I am suicidal, always been that way and always will be. There have been things going wrong in my life that had such an impact on me. I think I suffer from manic depression which means that I can feel happy for a while but can also feel like crap and disgusted for a long time. Lately I have been feeling so donw that with a look at an ordinairy object I started fantasizing about how I could kill myslef with it. I know I'm being very selfish here and I don't mean to hurt anyone in here because you all mean the world to me, but I don't think this will ever change......It's been in me ever since I was born....
You think you suffer from manic depression? i didn't know that there was a name for that. I always wondered if there was a name for mine because i don't feel depressed all the time, just like you franka. its weird though it seems to hit me over the head sometimes like a ton of bricks. There are just months i feel depressed and then 3 weeks of being okay, then i feel depressed. Its like a visious (sp?) circle.... I don't know what the hell it is and its sad cause i can't really mention it to any of my family, they'd die and take away everything that makes me happy but thinks makes me depressed probably. like system of a down. I don't know why i feel this way but i wonder maybe if i have something else like slight bipolar or something? i donno....but i donno how long this is going to last but i'm making people sick of this that donno what it is.... |
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fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck= gay fuck. Get it?!?!?!!?
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 01:46 AM
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Almost Member
Joined: Jan 18, 2004
Posts: 149
Location: newark, de us
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everyone feels like suicide at one point or another. i had some bad things happen to me as a child and always felt depressed and suicidal.. and for you guys who are highschool years, god BLESS ya. what a horrific time. and they say its the best years??? they're all WRONG... LIARS... it gets so much better. and thats what sucks about suicide.. most people kill themselves before they are like 25 i think? and thats way too soon. life gets awesome after you're out of your mid 20's and can just live...
i've lost a few friends to suicide and thats a horrible way to go. makes you as the friend or family member feel like you deserve the same fate because you pushed someone into something like that. that might not be the case at all, but thats how it feels...
i have lived with depression since i can remember. i just figured i was punk and moody and a bad person and that was why i was so down all the time... then after i had my kids and things were great in my life, finished my degree and still felt the same shitty self hating thing inside i finally went to therapy.. and guess what.. I'M DEPRESSED... go figure huh? so i got some medication, and went to some therapy and talked about the things that were bugging me all these years and now i feel GOOD... and thats weird for me to say.. and weird to feel...
so if you are imagining suicide, even if you dont actually want to do it, but you cant keep your thoughts off of it, and you feel down, or really nutty and then really down, talk to someone either parents or at school and get yourself some help. i lived until i was 31 suffering like an idiot with a head i hated to be in and now i feel like i've wasted so much life on feeling shitty... its worth it to go and talk to someone and get medication if you need it.
and ignore people that say everyone is too medicated. some people need it, i know i did.. and i'm glad i made the decision to talk to someone....
if anyone wants to talk about this privately feel FREE to pm me or email me and i'll definitely respond... cuz i have no life and i'm a huge geek on the net all day long...
everyone take care... |
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Enriched Macaroni Product
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 05:08 AM
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Almost Member
Joined: Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 63
Location: -Staring down the hole again-
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I know what your going through Franka babe, as you know...just always keep in the back of your mind that there's always someone out there who can relate with you and your problems, and always someone that cares...like myself caring about you.
much love babe. |
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"Today a young men on acid realized that alll matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one conciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves" - Bill Hicks (RIP)
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 11:55 AM
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ddevil
Joined: Nov 12, 2003
Posts: 1381
Location: NL
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I know there are a lot of people caring about me and stuff and they always wanna help me, but sometimes it's just hard to think positive when there are so many negative feelings inside of you. I'm trying to hold on for the ones who are supporting me so much mentally. Like a lot of people do and have done at this board. My parents know about my situation though and they decided to take me away from the internet, because they were afraid that I was talking to too much depressive people...they thought I was just someone who went along with the 'trend'. So it has taken alot of time before I could convince them that I was really depressed and needed help. I had to take some drastic measures to show them. Now I'm finally getting some help coming friday. Another therapist. They don't want me to see a doctor because they don't want me on anti- depressants (spell?) I have been unhappy all my life. Sure there were good moments as well, but mainly I haven't been so good. So I come on here and meet the most amazing people and than my parents tell me that I can't use the internet anymore. It only got worse from then. I became isolated and afraid of the world, maybe even a bit paranoia, but hey people think I'm weird anyway...
My advice to you Rain is never to let things you love get away from you. Those are the only things that are probably keeping you alive. Well at least for me it is. I wish I could tell you how long it's gonna last but I can't because eventually it's YOU who has to break the cicle. I know that now and I've been working on that for several years now. It might be shorter for you but I can't tell since I don't know your past.
To my sweetheart Adam: KNow that I'll always be there for you, and that I couldn't imagine a world without you, so please don't ever think of leaving me alone in this world. I couldn't take it. You know you can always talk to me or call me if you need me. You know how much I love you dear, never ever forget that babe.
Much love to all! |
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need I say more?
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 04:32 PM
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Hypnotized
Joined: Nov 18, 2003
Posts: 7385
Location: SOAD LAND!!
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I try not to let go of the things i love because they are whats keeping me alive. i almost did it last night. it just got worse last night and i was standing in my room for 3 hours staring at my beloved wrists with a knife in my hand.
just thinking about my life, and all things that pertain (wordsP?) i feel like shit this morning because i should have done it i keep thinking....i don't want help anymore...i want freedom... |
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fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck= gay fuck. Get it?!?!?!!?
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Posted: Feb 04, 2004 - 09:27 PM
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Banned User
Joined: Dec 09, 2003
Posts: 1848
Location: NYC
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| never felt suicidal, so i have absolutely nothing to say about my own expieriences... all i know is that if you feel suicidal, i would listen to Dead Human Collection by Cannibal Corpse... its kinda like, u feel realy upset, but then u listen to it, and u still feel rly bad, but in a good way... it converts the depression to anger against all the stuff in hi-school that scarlotts talknig about... and i can imagine that can cause ppl to feel suicidal sometimes... |
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Posted: Feb 05, 2004 - 04:00 AM
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ddevil
Joined: Nov 12, 2003
Posts: 1253
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I know that everyone once in their lives have considered suicide.. Myself encluded.. The good thing is im so scared of death, to bring it upon myself would be impossible.. or at least I hope it would be..
Freedom doesnt come from death.. It comes from life.. I get depressed often but since everyone seems to think im that happy go lucky lady. I have to keep that up.. There are so many nights when im alone that I just sit and think about all of the bullshit in my life.. Theres so much of it.. Its funny alot of times I just want to be left alone but then when I am I just wish someone would notice me.. It doesnt happen though.. It never has.. So I just go to sleep waiting to wake up and do it all over agian.. It feels like im stuck in a wheel that keeps spinning never stopping to let me off.. So there have been many times that Ive though just what if.. But that what if never happens..
I really wish I had some good advise to share with you rain, but since Im still trying to figure things out myself, I dont.. Just remember that just because you feel that your alone or noone cares, just remember you have us who care.. Just because were not near each other. Doesnt mean we cant care about you just as much as anyone else.. We love you, try to remember that.. |
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