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Posted: May 11, 2008 - 03:44 PM
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Dart
Joined: Jun 10, 2006
Posts: 820
Location: Wales
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Taking your life would only cause grief and pain for your family and loved ones
That is so True Bounce, the only thing i say about suicide is, Whats the point? |
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Thanks Darontotallyrocks, s_411 and Jeff!!
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Posted: May 11, 2008 - 05:57 PM
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Needle
Joined: Oct 04, 2007
Posts: 3052
Location: Europe for fucking 12 months
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Posted: May 28, 2008 - 11:11 PM
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Sugar
Joined: Feb 09, 2006
Posts: 3957
Location: In The Pantry, With Your Cupcakes
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Hey guys.
Well, I'm back. I don't know if I'm suicidal or not. And nothing any of you can say will talk me out of it at the moment. I don't know what this state of mind is called. All I know is that I hate it, and I don't want any part of it. I feel...I feel like an object. I feel like I'll always be running in circles, facing the same things, and when they look to be better, they really aren't. They're just worse. I don't know what I want. I don't know who I want. I don't know who loves me, who I'm allowed to love. But most of all...I'm hurting everyone I once loved. I'm hurting my family by driving myself away from them...I'm hurting my friends by only talking out of anger or sadness, or sometimes not talking at all...and I'm hurting my boyfriend, because when all this happens, he's picking up the pieces...and, then, I'm hurting the person who I used to love. The person who I thought I'd have a family and a future with. And then...I hurt everyone else who took any interest in me.
...I'm nothing. I'm not beautiful, I'm not smart, I'm not brave...I'm fucked up. I always was, and always will be. Nothing's gonna change that. But yet, everyone has to covet me...trap me...confuse me, until sooner or later, I'm consumed. Piece by piece, everyone's taking me, doing what they will, and then, there's nothing left.
Right now, there's nothing left. No more pieces...so I shouldn't even be here...this is nobody's fault how I feel but my own. I've just never felt so trapped and helpless in my life. Everyone wants a piece of me to do what they will, love it, hate it, burn it, hold it...it feels like the only way out is to take myself so that nobody can have me, because all it does when someone has me, is it kills them. I don't wanna hurt anyone else...I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what's going to happen. But if anything happens that you don't want to, whatever that may be, I love you all so much. And I'm so sorry for all of you that I have hurt at any time.
I'll see you all around on here in the near future, and possibly the distant.
EDIT: Things have completely turned around, because I don't feel I'm hurting anyone anymore. I feel...loved...for once in my life, I feel loved exactly how I should be loved.
Maybe I'm just coming down from a premature high. Who knows? All I know is that I feel better for the moment. |
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(\_ /) "I would like a 'bunny'."
(O.o) "What kind of 'bunny?' A semi-automatic 'bunny' or a handheld 'bunny'?"
(> <) "Whichever 'BUNNY' you think is better for shooting a guy in the head!"
(sig: Mel // avatar: Matt)
We all deserve to die.
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 05:32 AM
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Marmalade
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 2206
Location: Salt Lake City, UT. Not as bad as you'd think
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| i couldnt even consider suicide at the moment. i love being alive too much. i have no regrets, no stress, no grudges, no matter what happens. i have no reason to take my own life. no matter how miserable i ever get, that hill has to stop going down eventually, and one day it could be a straight shot back up. you just never know what could happen in your life, ever. there will be down points, but wouldnt you rather live to see what happens next? |
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Is it insane to think the world could change?
If religion is not abolished in my lifetime, my life will have been wasted.
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 05:44 AM
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Sugar
Joined: Feb 09, 2006
Posts: 3957
Location: In The Pantry, With Your Cupcakes
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^I guess.
I had a turn around moment today. I just feel like everything is finally at peace. Zane, you know that we are back to our old friendship (which I could not be happier about by the way), I've got a boyfriend who lives about a block away instead of a country away, or a sea away this time, which is a lot less stressful, especially since he loves me unconditionally, I've got the coolest friends imaginable, I've got good grades, I've got a good family life, and I kinda just pulled my head out of my ass (almost wrote ass out of my ass, wow, intelligent much?) and saw that I'm not hurting them. So, I feel better about myself. Of course, I'm at a weird state, where everything's changing rapidly and uncontrollably in my life, it's all turmoil and NEVER calmed down, so, it's hard to say I'll be happy for a long time. All I know is that I'm happy at the moment, and that's good enough for me.
At least I've got a lot of people I can talk to for help if I need it. |
_________________
(\_ /) "I would like a 'bunny'."
(O.o) "What kind of 'bunny?' A semi-automatic 'bunny' or a handheld 'bunny'?"
(> <) "Whichever 'BUNNY' you think is better for shooting a guy in the head!"
(sig: Mel // avatar: Matt)
We all deserve to die.
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 10:23 AM
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ddevil
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 1142
Location: under your daughters bed
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I've seriously considered suicide many times... But my problem, is I KNOW deep in my mind their is no god.. no heaven... And I'll just be nothing else the second I pull the trigger... Life has so many turns that I'd hate to miss something around thhe corner that coulda been what I was waiting for all along.
But to end the life you live??? It's Selfish - that's what it is.. Selfish - you leave your problems behind while your family creates new ones |
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 12:52 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Apr 16, 2005
Posts: 6937
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 01:57 PM
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Mesmerized
Joined: May 09, 2006
Posts: 5795
Location: Black Mesa Research Facility
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Posted: May 29, 2008 - 04:04 PM
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Needle
Joined: Oct 04, 2007
Posts: 3052
Location: Europe for fucking 12 months
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Quote:
But to end the life you live??? It's Selfish - that's what it is.. Selfish - you leave your problems behind while your family creates new ones
It's selfish...but I wouldn't recommend to yell "people who commit suicide are fucking selfish idiots" to people who have been thinking of suicide or are very depressed..that won't feel nice/help much... |
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Look at his face and walk ca. 8 feet away
See what happened to her face?
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Posted: May 30, 2008 - 05:20 AM
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Sugar
Joined: Feb 09, 2006
Posts: 3957
Location: In The Pantry, With Your Cupcakes
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^E-FUCKING-XACTLY.
I fuckin' hate it when people do that to me!
Anyway, fuck yeah, I don't even WANT to think about triggers anymore. I know the feeling's probably gonna come back someday, but, eh. Why fuckin' think about it? |
_________________
(\_ /) "I would like a 'bunny'."
(O.o) "What kind of 'bunny?' A semi-automatic 'bunny' or a handheld 'bunny'?"
(> <) "Whichever 'BUNNY' you think is better for shooting a guy in the head!"
(sig: Mel // avatar: Matt)
We all deserve to die.
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Posted: May 30, 2008 - 03:42 PM
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Mesmerized
Joined: May 09, 2006
Posts: 5795
Location: Black Mesa Research Facility
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I have many triggers. But I have one cure, and thats my Paul. My saviour, he is my life force, he keeps me going and I love him for it.
It is not selfish to want to die, but it is unnecessary to think like that - people around you DO love you, and they will want to help you. But first you need to ask for that help. |
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ImaginaryViolence on deviantART
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It makes me to think something else than things that I should think 
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